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by Lachie Strummer - 11:38 on 26 November 2011


Had a deep and meaningful discussion with herself this morning concerning tails.
If we humans had kept tails as we evolved, rather than ditching them several million years ago, would they be treated as fashion symbols today?
Would a big, tough bloke be proud to have a long,hairy, appendage he could carry over his shoulder as he swaggered down the street?
Would David Beckham have his tail shaved and have his kids’ names tattooed on it?
It could, of course, pose certain dangers. 
Riding a motorbike with a four foot tail would require great care.

Women, on the other hand, would have slender, delicate tails.
They’d probably have figure-of-eight knots tied into them and have them dyed various colours. Tail extensions would be available in pharmacies.
Pop singers would develop routines which involved stroking their tails in a highly provocative and controversial manner.
At some point there would be a craze to pay for tail removal, so called ‘tailectomies’, carried out by ‘specialist’ surgeons in private clinics.

Unusual sexual practises would have evolved - so called ‘tail ending’ which would involve partners tying their tails together and engaging in……

I better stop now, I’m starting to get carried away!

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