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Self Pleasure

by Lachie Strummer - 10:04 on 01 November 2012

Self-pleasuring Bongolies!

Tales abound of an unusual occurrence in a local B&B establishment of high renown.

It seems that a newly arrived couple made a startling discovery when they opened a drawer in their bedroom.

They were somewhat surprised to find a battery-powered, erm, ‘self-pleasuring’ device left by a previous occupant.

I never heard if there was any life left in the batteries.

 

Fifty

On reaching the half-century recently, I’ve been receiving much attention from the NHS.

It seems they’re very keen for ‘samples’ from me - and not of the liquid variety.

Maybe best not to supply them 12 hours after a Cruard curry - things could get a wee bit messy!

 

Tractor

Sold the Ford 6610 recently to a young crofter from Glendale.

Glad to see her going to a good home.

I have to admit I shed a tear or two as she disappeared into the October evening darkness on her epic journey North.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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